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We are finally on that path we began to doubt we'd ever get to.  We are getting ready for the very real possibility of saying good-bye to Naomi's tubie.  Naomi has been tube dependent for greater than 50% of her nutrition for two and a half years and in less than three weeks we will start an inpatient feeding program at CHOC (Children's Hospital Orange County) that has the real likelihood of Naomi leaving with no g-tube feeds at all!  I am a huge bottle of nerves and emotions as we plan for this big metamorphosis in our lives.  I do a happy dance when I think about not having closets full of syringes, extensions, pump sets, surgical lube, button kits, and more.  I would love to have my laundry room for laundry instead of formula storage and it would be pretty cool to live in a house without an IV pole.  Then there are the nerves, can I make it through the program?  It won't all be fun and games.  Naomi is going to have to eat foods she currently refuses and eat at times that are close to impossible to get her to eat now.  I have to stick to the program and not cave when she has one of her first class fits.  And there is the ever present nagging feeling of what if I fail?  Although I've worked through the feelings of I failed at feeding her three years ago and that is why she has the tube, they still surface from time to time, and right now they seem front and center.  What if I fail again?  I know I have to trust Naomi and myself that this time will be different and this time she will eat, she will succeed and this time we will have amazing support to make it happen.

So the countdown begins...18 days until we fly out....19 days until we start the program.